Coping With The Loss Of A Baby…

dealing with miscarriage

Jane (not the actual name) share her story while still trying to fight back tears.

It was sometime back in October that Jane had missed her period. She also noticed her body changes, and at times, she felt nauseous.

Jane: I’ve mentioned all the symptoms to my husband and we suspected it might be the signs of pregnancy. We were both very excited. We bought a pregnancy test kit but I was too afraid to do the test, as I’m not quite ready to know the answer (if I’m really pregnant). My husband and I then made a pact to do the test together on that Saturday. I still remembered it was 1 November.

During that week till 1 November, Jane had her normal routine life. She went to work (her work was pretty demanding at that time), her Wednesday Muay Thai class, and so on. She ate normal (which was not particularly very healthy).

Bad Cramps and Stomachache

On the Friday before 1 November, Jane had very bad cramps and stomachache. She thought it must be her gastric again (since she had irregular meals due to her work schedule). The pain never went away even when she fell asleep that night.

Jane woke up at 5.30am on 1 November, her tummy was still very much uncomfortable. She went for the pregnancy kit and just after she tested, she bled. The test was positive.

She knew she needed to go to the doctor. It is not uncommon for spotting during pregnancy, but to bleed heavily, she didn’t felt right.

Jane: When I first tested on the kit, and bled thereafter, my heart sank. I was happy (that the pregnancy test came out positive) but apprehensive (due to the bleeding). My instinct told me that I needed to see a doctor immediately. I needed an answer. I need affirmation.

Jane and her husband went to KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital for the check. The hospital ran a urine pregnancy test and it turned out positive too (she was less than 4 weeks pregnant). However, after the transvaginal ultrasound scan, the result didn’t turn out as positive as it seemed. The doctor told Jane that the uterus looked clear and there was embryonic tissues discharged during the scan. It doesn’t look good. It seemed that Jane had already passed out the fetus.

Jane: I remembered when the doctor told me softly that the uterus looked empty, a tear just dropped. I know there wasn’t much hope left, even though I kept holding on to that belief.

loss of a baby

One month has passed. Jane is on the road to recovery (physically and emotionally). The loss had affected her emotionally, and she has changed her dietary consumption so she could be well-prepared and healthier for her next pregnancy. According to the doctor, it takes typically four to six weeks to recover after a miscarriage. It is recommended to take confinement food during this recovery period.

Early Pregnancy Miscarriage

Early pregnancy miscarriage affects 15% to 20% of the women. This means, out of five pregnant women, one would miscarry. The ratio is quite high even though it is not a common topic being talked about.

There are many reasons that would cause a miscarriage. Between 50% and 70% of miscarriages are often thought to be caused by chromosomal mismatch in the fertilized egg. In layman’s term, the fertilized egg (which will eventually grow into a baby) is abnormal and unhealthy, thus the fetus is being discharged naturally. Other reasons include lifestyle factors (excessive smoking, alcohol and drugs intake etc), bacterial infections, Thyroid disease and others.

For those who can relate to this story, do not give up trying. There are many cases of smooth delivery and healthy babies after the unfortunate miscarriages. The key is to be strong, mentally and physically, so that you could be ready and prepared to take on new challenges ahead.

By Tan Yiying

1 Comment(s)

  1. I feel her.. In october, i too found out i was pregnant. 1 month later, i felt a very painful cramps and had to call an ambulance. When i reached the hospital, the doctor told me i had to go for an emergency operation as there were alot of internal bleeding in my uterus. I had a ruptured fallopian tube and it had to be remove immediately. Now, i have only one fallopian tube. Later i learnt that my condition was called ectopic pregnancy. I took a long time to recover emotionally and my operations wounds does not hurt physically as the pain was even greater emotionally.

    Ida Jamal Chan on February 4, 2015 AT 9:36 pm Reply

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