Why Am I Not Pregnant Yet?

dealing with infertility

Why am I not pregnant yet?

What is wrong with me?

Why is everyone pregnant and I am not?!

Sometimes it just doesn’t matter how hard you are actively trying for a baby, that positive pregnancy test just doesn’t seem to appear. It can get very frustrating when it seems you’re ticking off the list of doing-everything-correct but it just isn’t happening…

I felt so low, month after month, doing the pregnancy test only to get a NEGATIVE!

It didn’t help when my friends and family had been saying time and time again, “It will happen soon” or “Just keep trying”. Guess what was the worst comment I heard?

“Are you doing it right?”

I found myself questioning my technique too! These comments aren’t really helping! I became more and more frustrated!

I remembered I miscarried twice at a time when I wasn’t ready to get pregnant. I supposed it wasn’t a perfect timing too, with my Big Wedding Day all fully booked and paid for.

Now, when we are actively trying for a baby, it just didn’t happen. It has become too much for me and I was running out of patient trying to conceive our dream baby. I couldn’t figure out what went wrong!

I guess when you want something so badly, it became a nightmare obsession.

It has got to the point where I thought I couldn’t handle it anymore. One fine day, I went online and searched for Private Fertility Clinics and sought an alternative route – to embark on In vitro fertilisation (IVF) and Intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI). Apparently it was our only option at that time and I never look back again!

It felt good to be taking positive steps and getting professional help towards our dream of having a baby….

Tips to coping with Infertility and making your body baby friendly

Think Positively – Try not to dwell on  negative energy, hang out with positive friends and family that can provide the right guidance and support!

Be Active – Embark on a fitness regime or pick out a sport. Walking or running are great too!

Eat Healthily – Load up on fruit and vegetables, fish and all the necessary supplements

Drink Lots of Water – Load up on water and cut down on alcoholic drinks and coffee

Don’t Smoke – Try to quit smoking or cut down on the amount you smoke

Try not to be Obsessed with Trying for a Baby – Leave the pregnancy test kit alone unless you’re sure you might be pregnant!

Enjoy the Food you can Eat now – There are food that you won’t be able to eat when you’re pregnant. Eat a balanced meal.

Go on holiday and Relax as a Couple – Wind down and enjoy your time together. Sometimes too much stress and anxiety can affect your fertility too.

In my case, I don’t really remember enjoying my life before I had my Children. I guess I was so obsessed with getting pregnant and I forgot about the good times that I had with my husband. Connect with your spouse and let nature takes it course. When things don’t go according to plans, seek professional help.


By Keily J Adey, Author of ‘The Gift of Life’ (Miscarriage, Infertility and IVF)

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