They say that women are difficult to understand, but it doesn’t take much to figure a man out. However, we could all use some tips when it comes to making our spouse happy. So here’s 21 ways on how to do it, and I’m sure you’ve already been doing some of them! For the ones that you have yet to try, give it a go today!
1. Respect him.
That’s right, it’s so simple but so fundamental to every man that it will overshadow all other efforts on our part to please our husbands. One common scenario in a family situation occurs when wives want to override the husbands’ decision regarding a certain issue. Sometimes, deferring to our husbands even when we disagree with his opinion/decision is the more loving thing to do. We can always discuss it away from the children, and if need be, inform them later should there be a change in decision. When we respect our husbands, our children learn to do the same to their father, and to give similar treatment to their elders as they model how we live.
2. Discuss matters before decisions.
This may seem to be a tricky balance, as there really are some issues that husbands have no opinion about. Some husbands are more easy going, while others prefer being consulted and being involved. A quick question to check with the Mister would enable us to sift out which decisions we can safely decide on, while ensuring that things that matter to him would allow him to have a say in it. Intending to purchase another item for the house, or making plans for the weekend? Check with the hubby, as he may have other considerations or suggestions to offer, and at the same time, we can learn to understand him better!
3. Share your thoughts with him.
Yes, even though we often wish our husbands can read us as well as our girlfriends can, they can’t. And though they may give similar responses to the kind that we need or desire from an understanding friend, sharing our thoughts with the husband helps him to know how we think and feel about issues and people. If you don’t want solutions to the issue, tell him beforehand that you just want to share something with him and need a listening ear.
4. Be understanding.
A guy needs to be understood too. Slip into his shoes at times and see why he isn’t keen on that outing that you mentioned. Is he too physically exhausted, or is it that he has had too much of human interaction during the work week? A pending decision may seem simple to us but he may be pondering other factors regarding the issue and wants to be prudent about it. Or he may be feeling a lot of pressure from work demands and is thus moody and sullen. When we try to be understanding, our husbands appreciate it too.
5. Be Positive minus the nagging.
Who loves to be nag at? Trust me, everyone hates it! Stop that nagging and communicate your thoughts with patience! Be positive! Offer him a word of encouragement or be there to listen to him whenever he needs it. Make your presence be felt simply by your love, company and assurance.
6. Personal time.
This may be a contentious issue in many marriages but yet so essential to understand and practice. As much as the wives need time to themselves away from the children and household chores, men need their ‘cave time’ as well. And ‘cave time’ can come in various forms-sports with the guys or alone, computer games, watching a show, fiddling around with their car, playing music or just a nice long nap. Whatever the ‘vice’, your man needs it, not so much as to shirk their responsibilities, but to recharge their energy, even if the activity is a physical one. And well rested husbands make for better husbands.
7. Be supportive.
Every man needs their cheerleader, and that person is you, his wife. Be it a new project that he is helming or involved in at work, or a game that he is playing at, cheer him on morally, emotionally, or even physically. Better still, suggest that he spend a day at his hobby and he’ll be mighty pleased!
8. Be happy.
This sounds so brainless, but wasn’t this true during the courtship days, that as long as our partner is happy, we’re happy? Our choice to be happy and content whatever the situation may be, affects our husbands too. So choose to be happy!
9. Whip up a delicious meal!
Now before those of us who are culinary-challenged cry foul over this point, breathe. Our husbands are not asking for a 3-course French meal. A simple meal that can be put together easily and is yummy works well with most husbands. And even if it does not turn out as fantastic as we envisioned it to be, they will appreciate the effort put into it. Ask your friends who cook often for a fool-proof recipe to try, or scour food blogs for a recipe that you can follow easily. As the saying goes, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!
10. Dress up!
No, I don’t mean all the time. Some of us just aren’t that fashionably inclined, or have that energy to do so after a long day. Going for date night? Wear a nice outfit, or his favourite dress, put on some make-up and perfume. The same can be applied when going out as a family during the weekend. Our husbands appreciate that we take the effort to look nice for them. Besides, who wouldn’t want to show off his beautiful wife?
11. Be appreciative.
A simple ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ to our husbands for things that may be routine or mundane can help make our man’s day. Fetched you to work as usual? Thank him for it. Just did his part of the household chores? Thank him for doing it despite his tiredness, and for making the house clean.
12. Words of encouragement.
As mentioned before, we all could do with a cheerleader in our lives. Affirm our husband’s efforts and strengths and encourage him when things do not go as well as one had hoped. Spur him on with a kind word or two, and it could give him the extra spark needed for the last mile ahead!
13. Surprise him.
Men like to be surprised too! That said, they also do tend to have big ticket items or ‘boy toys’ that we may not be able to afford as often as we would like to. Pool together a sum of money with some of his friends for something you know he has been eyeing. Or surprise him in the bedroom with a new outfit or even taking the initiative for some nocturnal activity will bring a smile to his face.
We all like to be heard, and so do our husbands! As his wife, we have the privilege of being the only woman he will bare his soul to, so when he talks, listen up! It makes for better connection when we are able to truly understand and are able to pinpoint his emotions when he is unable to fully put them to words.
15. ‘Us’ before ‘me’.
Nothing warms a man’s heart when he sees his wife taking the effort of putting the relationship first by spending time with him despite your tiredness.
16. Don’t hold grudges.
“Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs” by Charlotte Bronte.
Let the negativity and unhappiness go, don’t bring up past events and old grandmother stories. Focus on what makes both of you happy.
17. Do something romantic for him.
Gone are the days where guys are the one planning for surprises and coming up with romantic ideas. Do something sweet for him, send him a romantic gift, an email or simply a sweet text. And you will bring a big smile to his face!
18. Share his interests and hobbies.
It will be difficult to take a liking for everything that your man likes. But wouldn’t it be nice if you can just spend some time together, once in a while, accompany him as he does the things he likes such as fishing, traveling, sketching or photography. Sharing his hobbies and interests bring both of you closer to each other.
19. Stop the guessing game.
Most men cannot read a women’s emotion or body language. Put it simply, men just don’t understand women because we are too complex. They have difficulty guessing what women are thinking and feeling all the time. So stop making your man play the guessing game, communicate to him your honest feeling especially if you are upset about something.
20. Loving his family.
Family relationships can be tricky but us taking the efforts to show a little kindness or just going the extra mile for his family demonstrates our love for our husbands. Purchasing a favourite food for your in-law or considering the food preferences when deciding on a place to eat are some ways that we can do this.
21. Express your Love.
Never stop saying how much you appreciate, need and love him. Give him all the love in the World and make him feel special!
Related post: 21 Simple Ways To Love Your Wife
By Ruth Mak and Crystal Tan